She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
