Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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