I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
