You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Blood and glitter go together right?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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