WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
