I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
