so explain again why im purple
no
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize