If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She's the barista slut.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
