Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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