I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
