is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
