Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize