Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
