you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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