Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
