In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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