I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
