Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
