when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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