ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Randomize
