do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
wow bdsm is so cute
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