What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I wish you could order shots online.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
