just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
