We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
