wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
The air taste purple.
Randomize
