Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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