dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
