So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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