I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Maybe he injected his testicle?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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