Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
