Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
