So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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