I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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