i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
