you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
