No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
