I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
