I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
