is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
