You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
