Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
