Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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