apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
