i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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