So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
