apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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