its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
and you fell through a lawn chair
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
