theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Someone came in the potted fern
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
