She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
it glows. i had to have it.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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