I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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