ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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