david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
