As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
