Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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