I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize