the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
