I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
