too bad you live with your parents still
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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