I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
