problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You're like the curious george of whores
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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