Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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