So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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