Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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