Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
