I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize