Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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