Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
