My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
