Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
