fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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